Disturbed?

februari 2nd, 2021

Do I feel disturbed?

Yes.

It’s not easy to stay calm when you feel disturbed, shocked and/or traumatized. Our autopilot usually goes instantly to one of these three: fight, flight or freeze. This morning I went to freeze.

I’m a little thawed, but still very chilled. I was shocked and in disbelief to see my Dutch hometown Enschede in the news this morning here in Belgium. I saw people throwing stones at the doors and windows of the local hospital.

I muttered some words to my partner about it, but I don’t even remember that clearly. My protective surviving mechanism put me in the mist for almost the rest of the day. Other words to describe such a survival strategy is the protecting behavior of the frightened child in me.

While writing this post, I can connect more with the adult in me, step by step. It is his job to get clarity and facts about what this occasion really means to me and calm down my inner child. For tonight I have to be kind to myself and get some rest.

For tomorrow I have homework. See my post of yesterday.
1. What can I learn about myself and my behavior?
2. What can I do with this learning, so I can benefit and grow from it?
3. Is there a way to practice or try something new that will support my growth?

Good night,
Job

#disturbed
#fightflightfreeze
#autopilot
#observingmyself
#learning
#enschede
#avondklok
#hometown
#thenetherlands🇳🇱
#belgium🇧🇪